So much for seeing stuff clearly closeup! And anything beyond that is even worse. This is what my home, the TV, my kids, the trees, the horizon, the road etc all look like to me now, with my "closeup" eye.
Last night I really had a huge cry when I realised - this is it. This is permanent. The vision in that eye was absolutely fine, if a little soft around the edges, just three days ago. Now, unless I am looking at something closer than 30cm from my face (which I never do), I'm all but blind on that side. It was a pretty devastating thought and I cried buckets.
Whatever happens from here, I just have to get used to it. I made a choice based on the information I had, but I'm still angry (mostly at myself) that I can have an eye so much worse than it was before I began this journey. I have been stripped of at least 90% of my vision. Why would they do that?
Having said that, using the two eyes together, it was OK this morning. When I first woke up, i could actually see the leaves on the trees outside my window, and I could see my husband reasonably sharply as he wandered about by the water's edge 100 metres away. (We are lucky enough to live by the water, and he'd gone down for a swim.) The clarity however quickly diminished as the morning wore on. Still, it happened, and it will probably stay clear for a bit longer tomorrow, which is a very heartening thought. It's early days, my eyes will get tired and blurry and I know that. I'm glad the clear moment happened though. I'm going to hold on to that thought.
I went shopping this afternoon at the supermarket. I thought it would be a fairly pristine visual environment, with controlled lighting and not much shadow, but it was actually much blurrier than being out and about in the sun, the wind and the trees. I've decided my new eyes don't like fluro lighting.
No comments:
Post a Comment